So, now I’ve been well and truly bitten by the Trifecta bug!
Below, is my offering for week 82’s challenge word, which is ‘Club’. As you will see from the relevant blog post, the challenge is to write between 33 and 333 words of fiction, non-fiction, poetry or prose, based on the 3rd definition from the Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary. This week the 3rd definition of ‘club’ is:
a : an association of persons for some common object usually jointly supported and meeting periodically; also : a group identified by some common characteristic <nations in the nuclear club>
b : the meeting place of a club <lunch at the club>
c : an association of persons participating in a plan by which they agree to make regular payments or purchases in order to secure some advantage
d : nightclub
e : an athletic association or team
Here’s my offering below – I hope you like it! Please check here for the other entries!
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The Quiet Times
Back in the Quiet Times, when the air wasn’t thick with Thought Traffic, a club like this was where we went to break up the monotony of our lives. We were young, then.
We would queue up outside, comparing our fake IDs, calculating how old we would be at our next pretend birthdays, just in case. The bouncers didn’t ask and they didn’t care. They would stand, arms folded, pretending to scrutinise us as we shuffled past, each implicit in the other’s deceit.
We would clamour at the sticky bar for a pint of lager, or a vodka and orange for the girls. The throb of the music snaked up the inside of our thighs, the bass notes singing between our teeth. We wanted it loud, long and to last forever.
That was the Quiet Times for you. We had no idea that twenty years later, we’d be back here again, together with our lady friends. The young ones stay away, too cool to admit that the incessant Thought Traffic streaming all day, every day, is too much to bear. They love that you can tap into someone else’s mind just by picturing them in your head. They don’t care that you can’t switch the damn chatter off. They want to know everything and have the attention spans of gnats.
We’re separated, just as we ever were. Young divided from old, like in the Quiet Times. But it’s us, the old guys and the grey women, queuing outside Top Spots. It’s us pressing our hands against the walls, touching the vibrations seeping through the brick, our eyes closed in pure ecstasy. We’re desperate to get inside, to drape our bodies over the speakers, to overload ourselves with rhythm and noise that makes our ears bleed.
Only the throbbing amps, turned up to the maximum, will empty our heads – of our thoughts, of their thoughts – and take us back to the Quiet Times.
Freya Writes... 
What an intriguing piece of writing! I love the evocative imagery and the glimpses of world. Brilliant
Thank you, Thomas Marlowe 🙂
Another great dystopian tale! I had seen the new challenge and felt tempted but I didn’t have the time, unfortunately. Nice to read what you offer instead!
Thank you! Like I have said before, quite often I find it easier to write things like this in a relatively short space of time – plus, since I am on public transport for far too many hours of the day, it gives my brain a chance to wander! So, this is a combination of London Underground, Gatwick Express and Southern Railways… 🙂 Every cloud has a silver lining!
This is amazing. Oh my goodness that would drive me insane! What a hideous glimpse into a near-possible future! I loved it!
Thank you so much! It would drive me crazy too – and that was sort of where I started from. I have so many thoughts in my head, and wondered what it would be like if we could hear everyone else’s….
Ah yes, there is no QUIET today..and when you take the time to be quiet, to get lost..there is enormous guilt in it.
I wrote something similar about :Missing just talking to people” a few weeks ago.
you used the word so well…and while my even being here , in the middle of the day to read and comment on your blog (HEE), plays into the whole notion of clamoring , I’m glad I did. I liked this very much.
I’m pleased you enjoyed it! Yes, ‘QUIET’ is a rare and beautiful commodity these days, even (or maybe, especially) inside our heads. I’ll have to look for your post on missing just talking to people – it does indeed sound similar.
mine was more memoir than it was fiction, but the thought was the same. I miss actually TALKING at length to other people, instead of in 140 characters.
I like your blog and your voice, if it’s okay I’ll be visiting again. 🙂
I agree. We’re so connected, but it’s not anywhere near as personal as good, old-fashioned talking.
I read your post but couldn’t comment at the time – Internet problems! I really like your blog!
And of course, you’re welcome to visit here any time – I’m glad you like what I write!
Wow! I just finished Fahrenheit 451 for the first time (I know, I know) and this sent me right back there! This is so fun and interesting!
Oh don’t worry, there are loads of books and films I need to catch up on! I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
WOW– very George Orwell! I want you to write more!!! I could read a whole chapter of this, or even a book. Nicely done!
best,
MOV
Thank you, MOV! It did cross my mind that it was an Orwellian future I was envisaging. I might just revisit this, expand it, create something new… Food for thought.
I love how effortlessly you pulled us into the your world with your
terminology. In two words – “Thought Traffic” – you showed us the
future. I’m already longing for the Quiet Times. And the way you
described the visceral need to feel the music in your bones was
brilliant, particularly the third paragraph. Fantastic writing. ~Christine (Trifecta Guest Judge)
Wow! Thank you so much, Christine. I’m so pleased it worked so well for you as a reader. Sometimes, even though we aren’t at the Thought Traffic stage right now, I do want to blot out everything with loud, loud music.
What an interesting piece, full of imagery and sensory detail. I could feel the tension in my belly as I read. Excellent writing. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Diane. I hope the belly tension didn’t last too long! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
This is so interesting. I love it.
Thank you!
Thought traffic…scary thought! There’s already too much sensory input bombarding us. Great story!
Indeed there is – it’s hard to find peace and quiet sometimes. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I really enjoyed this. Great writing and use of words. I, like Kir, crave the direct human connection and your piece is a little scary. Well done.
Thank you, Lumdog. I think many of us feel like Kir. Proper, emotional, human connection seems to have taken a back seat for now.
Love the cacophony, and there are many evocative images – draping themselves over the past… The idea of all that in one’s head is terrifying. Terrific story!
Thank you, Kymm! Yes, cacophony is just the right way to describe how I would feel about it, too.
Cyber high-five (because I’d never do it in real life)- this weeks Trifecta entries are killing it, truly. SO much truth here, couched in a world with Huxley overtones, I absolutely love it.
Thank you so much! I have to say, I really enjoyed writing this piece. I agree, the writings this week are all brilliant. Trifecta is excellent! (And I would only accept a cyber high-five, by the way!).