Below is my offering for week 86′s challenge word, which is ‘crack’. As you will see from the relevant blog post, the challenge is to write between 33 and 333 words of fiction, non-fiction, poetry or prose, based on the 3rd definition from the Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary. This week the 3rd definition of ‘crack’ is:
3a : a narrow break : fissure <a crack in the ice>
b : a narrow opening <leave the door open a crack><cracks between floorboards> —used figuratively in phrases like fall through the cracks to describe one that has been improperly or inadvertently ignored or left out <a player who fell through the cracks in the college draft> <children slipping through the cracks of available youth services>
Here’s my offering below – I hope you like it! Please check here for the other entries!
*****
– Undercurrents –
I didn’t notice it at first – let’s face it, gradual change is insidious. It gets in everywhere, like flood-water rising slowly, subtly towards your house. By the time it appears on your radar, it’s already lifting the floorboards. Then, the damage is already done.
I said: it’s never too late.
That crack, that subtle shift, it was probably there long before. I imagine it appeared in the night, like a member of the French Resistance, leaving its traces, waiting for its presence to be felt at a later date. Who can remember the catalyst now? At the time, everything felt so urgent, so important, so injurious.
Looking back, none of it was worth the fallout that infected us all, that broke us apart, that shattered our hearts.
That crack – it became a fissure. Then before we could try to take back our words, the inch wide gap was suddenly a yawning chasm, vast enough to swallow us, and our vitriol, whole.
None of us had the presence of mind to make the life-saving leap in time. None of us cared enough to risk ourselves.
You said: too much has passed between us.
I’ll take notice of cracks in the future. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
This is very intense! I was not quite sure what the damage was until almost the end. So much so that I read again so as to make sure I had understood ‘properly’. Very clever imagery!
Aha! I do like it when something I write isn’t totally obvious :))
Believe it or not, I wrote the bare bones of that whilst waiting for a train… Clearly limited resources (my phone) and some empty time, are a good combination! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Excellent use of imagery and emotion! Words…the epitome of pain, regret and anger harbored.
Thank you, Lorri. This is part fiction, part demon-exorcising. It was good to get it out there.
The sad thing is you always see it happening – like your watching in slow motion – you captured that hollow nausea really well.
I found your comment in my spam – WordPress being ‘unhelpful’. Yes, we do always see it happening, every time. Thank you for the comment – ‘hollow’ is a great word.
Ha! Merci Madame.
Excellent writing Freya.i really enjoyed the creation of tension in your piece.
Thank you, I really appreciate your comments.
I’m sure I commented on this yesterday but it seems to have vanished – it was something about watching these things happen in slow motion as they occur – and doing nothing about them. I thought you captured the hollow nausea such things induce really well…
It’s too bad we don’t have foresight as well as hindsight.
Great piece.
Indeed it is. I’m glad you enjoyed it – thank you.
Wonderfully written! I think gradual change slips by most people, thanks to so many other distractions and misguided priorites.
Thank you! Yes, I think you are right.
The best bit about this piece is the final sentence. We are human and fallible and tend to make the same mistakes. I love the nod to this at the end. Nice.
Thank you, Laura. Recognising our fallibility, I think, can be our greatest strength. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
But the next time is will be completely different…
Love the image of the lifting floorboards.
Thank you, Kymm. I’m pleased to say that I’ve never experienced a flooded house, but with all the rain in the UK until recent months, a lot of people have really struggled with this… It’s strange where inspiration can be found!
Oh a crack becoming a fissure that’s not what anyone wants.
No, they don’t! I can’t imagine any real-life experience where that would be welcome.
Oh, man! YES. If only we would pay attention the cracks. No need to wait for things to fall apart.
I like this response to the prompt. 🙂
Mine is here: http://www.aliciaaudrey.com/blog/trifectaprompt-crack/
Thank you! I think I read and commented on your response earlier in the week 🙂