Many don’t believe that I have
fears, worries, concerns,
that I panic frequently,
count the ticking of the clock
eyes wide open
in the darkest, empty, least-forgiving hours.
Many don’t believe.
I am a swan, so it seems
serene above
paddling like fury below
not believing in my abilities
afraid to make the mistake
when the true mistake is not trying at all.
Many don’t believe me when I share this.
Many don’t believe.
I go ahead and do ‘the thing’ anyway
I push myself, if diffidently
to the front of the crowd
of writers, poets, artists and illustrators,
for not to try would be worse than failing.
And I would not forgive myself for my cowardice.
But still, many don’t believe.
This week, on dVerse Poetics, our lovely host Mish asks to write about whatt we are afraid of. Mostly, and not including the overwhelmingly huge matters of politics, economey, environment and so on into consideration, mostly I am afraid of myself. But it seems that I put up a good front of calm… like the swan.
What are you afraid of? Do you want to share with us? Head on over to dVerse and enter into some poetic catharsis.
Freya Writes... 
I like this so much…the openness and reflection. The swan was such a beautiful analogy. I believe your fear but I am so glad that you face it. Your writing is a gift to all of us.
Thank you, Mish! That’s very kind of you.
Love the swan image, beautiful! And a touching piece, especially
for not to try would be worse than failing.
And I would not forgive myself for my cowardice.
Thank you, Crystal.
I love the tender openness with which this poem flows 😀
Beautifully penned (as always)
Lots of love,
Sanaa
Thank you!
I like the picture of the graceful swan above, paddling like fury below. You just don’t think about that watching them gliding on the water. Thanks,
Indeed you don’t!
Oh Lord.. the invisible disability
of anxiety of fear the same
in general
dis
ease of
being free..
and all the other
invisible disabilities that
can come in liFE.. and it was
amazing as i seriously at one
point was diagnosed with 19 disorders
that no one could see on the outside of me..
pull your bootstraps up.. it could be worse until
2 years passed and diagnosed with the worst pain
known to humankind as medical literature related it
to a pain worse than literal crucifixion.. per type two
Trigeminal Neuralgia.. seriously after one goes to hell
it’s hard to be scared.. almost impossible to be scared
after doing that for 66 months before the end of July 2013..
but heights..
they do sTiLL
scare me.. even after
faLLinG to point zero of
Being HUman then..
as the walKing
literal
Dead iN SpiRit.. REAL..:)
Ugh, I can’t imagine ‘living’ with TN for so long!
Invisible illnesses, whether physical or mental, are so misunderstood – and treated so poorly.
So true
My Friend..
The bootstraps
Can be made
Of Hell..
Glad
To
Discard
Them in Heaven REAL..:)
Your repetition is very effective.
This is my favorite part:
“eyes wide open
in the darkest, empty, least-forg hours.
Many don’t believe.
I am a swan”
Thank you!
You are one brave person and I like the mantra of trying it anyway as not doing it, is an act of cowardice. I believe you, smiles.
Thank you, Grace. I think many of us are in the same boat.
I think we learn more from failing & falling; very honest & personal reflection. I guess we are socialized to mask our fears–but yes, it is best to face them.
I think you’re right – showing fear isn’t as accepted as covering it up. It’s a heavy mental burden!
I can relate, Freya. Many have told me that I have an air of calmness about me but many times I’m churning inside.
I so know that feeling….
I like the openness and honesty in this piece.
Thank you!
Poignantly written! I think most of us have felt this way. I fear my self, too- the things that I can’t and cannot do. You are one brave swan, I believe. 🙂
Thank you, Maria. We all are I think, in our different ways.
My pleasure, Frey. Yes, that is true. 🙂
Wonderful image of you as a swan, Freya. I so get that fear of oneself and of making mistakes. I think that’s why we write.
I think you might be right! Thank you, Kim.
A lovely swan. Yes, indeed. 🙂
Thank you, Misky 🙂
Well said.
Oh how much I admire this. The swan analogy, the fear of NOT doing the thing, greater than the fear of making a mistake at it. The emotional self-flagellation we hide. You’re right many would not believe, but I’m sure all of us here at dVerse do. Excellent write.
Thank you, Raivenne. Creatives I think are often tortured souls…
YES! I hear and believe… “for not to try would be worse than failing.”
So very true. Excellent poem.
Thank you!
Hi Freya! I think the strong facade is almost always seen as strong soul too. This poem explained that so well. I so love these lines, by the way:
“I am a swan, so it seems
serene above
paddling like fury below”
Thank you, Rosema 🙂
most welcome, Freya!
I read once that courage is not the absence of fear, but continuing on despite fear. You are a courageous lady indeed!
Yes, I’ve heard that too. Thank you, Bryan 🙂
What a nice imagery – the swan. I admire your courage and the poise you show. 😊
Thank you, Imelda 🙂
Ah, yes! Courage is just fear moving in a forward direction… never an absence of fear. Your poet’s voice speaks that out courageously. Well done!
‘fear moving in a froward direction’ – loved this idea! Thank you 🙂