It’s been a very long time (yes, I keep on saying that, I know), but I’ve been itching to get back into contributing (and therefore supporting) the wonderful dVerse Poets Pub.
Last night’s Meeting the Bar, hosted by the lovely Peter all the way from Australia, was all about sound. Let’s do a sound check, testing, testing, 1.2,3! What sounds do we hear when we write? Do they resonate, do they amplify the meaning of the words and the subject matter? I love playing with sound, whether it’s following a well-known (or less well-known) poetic patters, or by going full free-form.
Why not take part yourself? Pop over to the Meeting the Bar post, have a read, see what you think and dive in!
Here’s my contribution, which I hope you enjoy – Chiaroscuro.
He fell foul of the rule
the fool
he drooled over her –
slender, tall, willowy
of the opposite gender.
Taking advantage
of the gloom in the room,
the shade and the shadow,
the gap
the break
the chance he would take to
throw his fate to the wind
The wind that ruffled his
waiting wife’s feathers
arousing the rage
unleashing the tiger –
the cage
was no match
for the scratch of his nails
marking
his paramour’s back.
Illicit
Complicit
Guilty as charged.
Freya Writes... 
Love this!
Thank you, Lucy! It’s been a while since I wrote any poetry, although my mind does fill up with half-formed verses every now and again. It was time to hit the keyboard!
“He fell foul of the rule” sets the tone brilliantly, and the animal force that carries him along on his “illicit” charge described in equally brutal force of words. Great poem.
Thank you so much!
I like the pacing of your poem which echoes how these temptation do come upon us. I also enjoyed how your rolled your words out.
Thank you! It was fun to play with the words and the pace.
You’re welcome 🙂
Lovely sounds in this piece – I particularly liked ‘…wind that ruffled his / waiting wife’s feathers’ – but most striking in the poem is the use of line breaks – stretching out time – that ‘break’ all on its own is fabulous creating a space, a hinge, for all that follows. Super poem and thanks for joining in the fun.
Thank you so much, Peter. I enjoy playing with sounds and spaces when I write poetry and I’m really glad that I chose this week to return. I really appreciate your analysis.
The rhythm of this piece is fantastic right from the get go. There is a definite attention to the sounds and the beat (got to admit I have a soft spot for the “oo” sound any way, so bonus for me there). A fantastic read, thank you.
Thank you, I had great fun with this – and I’m glad you got your “oo” fix!
I really like the sounds and the pacing of this poem.
Thank you very much!
Fantastic piece.. I just read it and it simply worked perfectly… the rhythm and the use of poetic tools… I do remember that you told us once that you went to an open mic event… if you are willing there is one coming up at dVerse next week.
Thank you Björn, I really appreciate it. Yes, your memory is correct (and frighteningly good!). What time is the open mic event on? I’m tempted…