The waiting game

My partner has said on more than one occasion that she would hate to be inside my head. Frankly, I don’t blame her.

I find it incredibly difficult to properly relax. I used to think that this was normal, that everyone felt this way, but apparently, this is not true. Go figure.

Take this time right now, the fallow period, if you will. My precious gem of a book baby, Anti-Virus, is with my much-valued ARC readers. I am giving them time to read it, at their own pace. Because we all have lives and commitments, the summer is basically theirs. There isn’t a great deal for me to do for the next couple of months.

My brain is making me feel guilty. For not doing something. God knows, I have no idea what that nebulous something is, but it’s poking at me very regularly for not ‘working’. As if a demanding day job isn’t enough.

‘Do more.’

‘DO MORE.’

‘DO MORE.’

DO MORE.’

I have a small list of things I will need/would like to do before publishing, but it’s small and manageable and…

I DON’T NEED TO DO THEM NOW!

As you can imagine, that only pacifies my brain (which is behaving like a demanding two year old to be fair) for a short while.

I do have a draft of a fantasy novel that is the first in a trilogy (this is how I have always envisaged it). So I’ve printed it out and am about half way through reading it. I’m quite impressed by past Freya. She had some good plot and characterisation going on. It’s definitely got legs. Will it be a trilogy? Do I have the ability to commit to that?

Time will tell.

Pssst… time’s running out! Better get on with it NOW!

Oh, good grief…

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

If there’s one certainty in life, it is that things are constantly changing.

And yet I am being consistently inconsistent by not posting every weekend, like I had planned to do, and like I had probably written somewhere on here that I was going to do.

I know, because I know roughly how social media works, that if you aren’t consistent in your presence, it negatively impacts The Algorithm and The Metrics. You know what else I know? Life is way, way too short and my mental health is way, way too important, to get myself tied up in knots over that stuff.

To be perfectly, bluntly honest with you, I get overwhelmed by the accounts on the tiny number of social media platforms that I use that are unfailingly, Swiss watch consistent in their output and/or have an aesthetic that makes their posts instantly recognisable. Maybe it’s just me who feels like that, maybe there’s something wrong with my attitude to the whole social media bandwagon. (I’ll just add a little side note here – I admire the people who have the ability to ride the wave of social media and have the energy to be so consistent, polished and professional. I don’t have the resources to be always ‘on’ in that way, sadly).

Despite my somewhat lackadaisical approach to the social media aspect of self-publishing, I have reached the point where Anti-Virus is now with my lovely ARC readers, or as I somehow managed to name them ‘Team AV’ (sometimes I can be down with the kids and get a tiny little bit social media savvy). Other authors are reading my work – gulp!

All joking aside and all social media ambivalence aside, I am damned proud I I have got this far. Sometimes I have wanted to tear my hair out, sometimes I have given my manuscript the side-eye and hated it with a burning passion that has been breathtaking (often when I have got up from my working from home computer after a long hard day and then sat down at my own laptop), but now, now all is forgiven. It has all been worth it.

I’ll be firming up my publication date and announcing it to the world in the next few weeks.

And I can introduce you all to Callie Hannigan. She’s been waiting so long. So have I.

Welcome to the world of Anti-Virus.

The good, the bad and the ugly

I’m not a fan of Westerns at all, but I love that film. You can hear the music right now, cant you? You have an earworm don’t you?

You’re so welcome…

Actually, the title of this post is a little off. There’s no bad (sorry to disappoint if you’re a fan of high drama), nor is there any ugly, unless you count my anxiety going off the scale at various points in the last couple of weeks for no reason whatsoever.

Good – my editor had wonderfully positive comments following her review of Anti-Virus. No major plot holes were revealed, no ‘eh, it’s OK, I suppose’ (a lukewarm response would have been worse than a ‘this is absolutely awful’ to be honest), nothing requires major reworking. Hallelujah!

Double Good – the book cover design is done! I had such a brilliant experience, loved working with the designer and he just ‘got it’. This, my friends gave me such a boost. The book is starting to feel really real, not just real. I think of Anti-Virus and I picture the cover – how cool is that?!

Double Plus Good – I’ve taken the vast majority of the pain of the formatting side of things out of my hands and will be paying Someone Who Knows Things to do this for both ebook and paperback formats. You know, I could learn, but quite honestly, I don’t want to and also don’t want to devote the time to it, not right now (if ever, to be even more honest). I know I’m lucky to be able to do this and am very grateful, definitely.

So, things are moving on. I’m in the final stages of the final edit before handing over to the Someone Who Knows Things. And then I can find something else to worry about, like, I don’t know, what will my ARC readers think?

Until next time…