The times they are a-changin’ – dVerse Haibun Monday

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Stupid as it sounds, I never imagined my life without Dad. He and I didn’t have the easiest of relationships. As a little girl, I desperately wanted his presence, wanted him to notice me, wanted him there, with me. So, stupid as it sounds, his absence then felt like a presence, even though his actual presence was erratic and intermittent. We didn’t see each other, didn’t contact each other for many years. Oh, I kept track of him for most of that time, via the wonders of the internet. And then, the London bombings happened near to where he worked, and that was my wake-up call. Life is too short. Oh, how prescient was that thought, for what was too short a time after that, he died. I never imagined what that would feel like, how angry, desolate, lost, hurt, devastated I would feel. I have healed, as we all do, but he is there, in my mind, every day. He is once again absent, this time permanently gone, but always with me.

Leaves turn, green to gold

seasons change, nature gives birth –

death to life once more.


 

It’s Haibun Monday over on dVerse and we are asked to write our haibun on the subject of change, including a nature-based haiku to wrap up our piece.

I write not infrequently about my dad – he’s in my thoughts every day. It’s a strange thing, I never imagining him being gone, given that he was absent for so much of my life. Oddly, my mum and step-dad, my supporters, my cheerleaders, my safe harbours who have seen me through good times and bad – well, I do think of what it will be like when they are no longer here (gosh, that sounds morbid, it’s not meant to!). My mum did say to me, not long after my dad died, that her own mum was in her thoughts every day, even though she died when my mum was a little girl. I truly understand that. It’s not a conscious thought, it just is.

Anyway, I’m sure that everyone else who takes part tonight will approach this theme in their own unique way. Please do head on over to dVerse to enjoy the creativity!

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Gold – TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge

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All that glisters is

generally gold, but is its

glory what we need?

 

people shine in our

hearts, more permanent, more true,

but so transient


 

It’s time for TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge, where today the prompt is ‘gold’. That precious metal s something many hanker after, but what does it truly give us, in the end?

Please do take part – it’s fun!

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Foundered – dVerse Poetics

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My encasement has shattered.

The ice shower sprinkle

doesn’t register at first,

merely tickling my eardrums with fairy sparkle.

But then millions of shards dagger the ground

exploding, pounding the back of my eyeballs

as the pressure wave roils and rolls towards me –

a tsunami.

My protective, self-mandated tomb is shattered

and my soul bleeds, splattering the earth

as fat raindrops in the tail-end of a summer storm.

I have been breached.


 

A deceptively tough write this week on dVerse Poetics, hosted by Walt… what does love sound like? It can be any kind of love, but the sound? Wow! I’m in reflective mood (so often the case!), and am thinking about my dad, as time continues to pass and I see him in a different light.

This is a little informed by the tidal wave of feelings that washed over me during his short illness and funeral, and the immediate aftermath. I can write differently now. I can confess to the depths of my feelings, without bitterness. It’s a release.

Please do head on over to dVerse to read other entries – there is bound to be a cacophony!