Deep – Friday Fictioneers

Here is my latest entry into the weekly challenge brought to us by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.

Here are the rules: Use the photo as inspiration, write a hundred(ish) words – and share! Here goes my offering for this week – and I welcome your comments again!


Copyright – Erin Leary

– Deep –

“Does that look alright? Is it realistic?”

I stare at Alex, astonished at his artwork. “Ermm, yes, I guess so.”

“Yes, but I don’t know if the mist looks OK, or not. Would it really roll in like that, up top? We’re nowhere near a river, or a valley, or…”

“Alex, mate! The important thing is that we have a view, something natural to stick on the walls – something instead of, well, metal.”

We both turn to look at the metal walls, behind which lie tons of rocks and earth hemming us in on all sides. Above ground, the air is poison. We’ll be OK down here – unless we go insane first.


Click on the blue froggy below to read others’ offerings!

48 thoughts on “Deep – Friday Fictioneers

  1. An excellent, original take. I can feel the tension between them beginning to germinate already

  2. I love how you framed the dialogue (oops, sorry for the pun). It wasn’t ominous or overly dramatic or anything — and so then when the punchline came, it only seemed natural. Well done.

  3. Good progression, fitting conclusion. I guess that’s one solution to the problem of what to look at outside she there is no outside to look at.

  4. Genius! Where you conjured that from is beyond me – so creative. I also randomly like the spot-on use of “mate” – it adds so much extra depth and reality in such a short piece.

  5. You always have a great punchline or two! The yearning for a little bit of nature, a view of what once was…is quite vivid.

  6. Would love to know more about how they got there. Well-penned dialogue, although I think they need to try harder with it if they aren’t to go insane.

    1. Yes, I think you’re right. I hope there are some willing ladies down there with them, otherwise it’s going to be difficult for them to procreate! Or maybe, they just have to be indifferent, rather than willing… hmmm…

  7. What a wonderful idea – if you live with concrete all around, who wants to look at that 24 hours a day – which would be so depressing! Good story! Nan 😉

  8. Fantastic take on the prompt! Dystopia – but rugged human ingenuity making the best of it. The photo does look exactly like a painting – and it will make a good window for these two.

  9. Very original, Freya. I think if I were shut up with no windows, I’d want one or more murals that looked as though I could see outside or else I might go mad, too. Excellent!


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