Here is my latest entry into the weekly challenge brought to us by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
Here are the rules: Use the photo as inspiration, write a hundred(ish) words – and share! Here goes my offering for this week – and I welcome your comments again!
Copyright – Erin Leary
48 thoughts on “Deep – Friday Fictioneers”
Nicely done Freya. The dialogue brings us along, and the twist at the end is chilling.
Thank you. I do enjoy a good twist!
I love twists at the end. One of my favorite things. Very well done.
Thank you – me too! 🙂
An excellent, original take. I can feel the tension between them beginning to germinate already
Thank you. I’d be tense, too. More than tense. Claustrophobia would be top of my list, once the fear of the outside had subsided!
The last few lines give such a depth (excuse the pun) to Alex’s concern for accuracy. When the balloon goes up, we’ll need the artists
Thank you – yes, we certainly will. Memories fade, over time.
I love how you framed the dialogue (oops, sorry for the pun). It wasn’t ominous or overly dramatic or anything — and so then when the punchline came, it only seemed natural. Well done.
Thank you, Helena. As you know, I don’t do dramatic. I try for understatement mostly. I’m glad it worked!
Good progression, fitting conclusion. I guess that’s one solution to the problem of what to look at outside she there is no outside to look at.
Yes, it is an answer. I’d hate to have to go down in a bunker and know it would never be possible to leave.
Nice dystopian take on the picture.
The end is unexpected and very good. Love it.
By the way, I write too. Please do read mine (short story) when u have the time:
A dreadful prospect. Nicely done.
Dreadful and nice at the same time – now that’s a scary combination! 🙂
Genius! Where you conjured that from is beyond me – so creative. I also randomly like the spot-on use of “mate” – it adds so much extra depth and reality in such a short piece.
Thank you. My imagination is… lively! I do enjoy writing using conversation, and I listen to a *lot* of people on my journey to and from work…!
Clever take. You’ve really conjured up a nightmare scenario.
Thank you. May it not come true.
nice plot! 🙂
Great idea – I would definitely have to paint ‘outside’ on the walls if I was stuck inside for too long!
Yes, me too.
You always have a great punchline or two! The yearning for a little bit of nature, a view of what once was…is quite vivid.
Thank you, Lorri.
big, imaginative story. a horrifying dystopian tale.
Thank you, KZ. I like to tackle the small stuff…. 😉
Would love to know more about how they got there. Well-penned dialogue, although I think they need to try harder with it if they aren’t to go insane.
Well, I think it’s early days for them… Thank you!
Oh there’s nothing like dystopia.. and I love the thought of redecorating..:-) those fumes and a barren land.. I guess they need to foster a few generations before it’s safe to return.
Yes, I think you’re right. I hope there are some willing ladies down there with them, otherwise it’s going to be difficult for them to procreate! Or maybe, they just have to be indifferent, rather than willing… hmmm…
Delightful! At first I thought it was a painter and his/her friend arguing about a finished work. The end put a sudden end to THAT idea.
Ha! Yes, it was a little more serious than that… I’m glad you enjoyed it!
What a wonderful idea – if you live with concrete all around, who wants to look at that 24 hours a day – which would be so depressing! Good story! Nan 😉
Indeed! It has to at least help make things better, I would hope? Thank you for reading!
Fantastic take on the prompt! Dystopia – but rugged human ingenuity making the best of it. The photo does look exactly like a painting – and it will make a good window for these two.
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! I think our adaptability has been our blessing, and our curse, over the tie we’ve been on this planet.
Very original, Freya. I think if I were shut up with no windows, I’d want one or more murals that looked as though I could see outside or else I might go mad, too. Excellent!
Yes, I would too. Thank you!
I believe that picture will help, at least for a little while.
You’ve presented a stark and foreboding future. Nicely done. Applause!
Thank you so much, Rochelle!
Freya, Well done story with good description and a warning. I hope we don’t have a future like that. Good writing. 🙂 —Susan
Thank you so much!