I imagined you, standing over me,
breathing your death-breath into my soul.
I imagined my lungs inflating with the ashes of you
and I pressed against my chest to stop inhaling you –
but you were too strong.
You held my gaze,
your hazel eyes piercing mine
and I could see the thoughts in your head –
the roiling, churning black and vomit yellow
and I could not stop them infecting my
azure blue and foxglove purple.
You stole my days
You infused my nights
You were relentless.
I imagined you standing over me
and yet when I reached out for you,
you were not there.
It’s time for the latest prompt from A Dash of Sunny, where this week we are invited to write on loss and madness.
It’s no secret here to those who know me, that my dad died suddenly in 2013. I truly thought, during the time of sitting for 12 days, watching him slowly fade from coma to death, that I was going mad. I’m sure I wasn’t alone. It felt so unreal and surreal, and yet everyone at some point loses someone they love. How are we so unable to explain and prepare for this?
Anyway, during that time, and for a period after his death, my dreams were, unsurprisingly, very disturbed. it’s how we process and attempt to make sense of it all.
I hope this isn’t too depressing. Also – I am fine now! It’s just part of life’s rich tapestry, isn’t it?
Please do head on over to A Dash of Sunny and brace yourselves for strong, honest writing!