Below is my offering for week 84′s challenge word, which is ‘crude’. As you will see from the relevant blog post, the challenge is to write between 33 and 333 words of fiction, non-fiction, poetry or prose, based on the 3rd definition from the Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary. This week the 3rd definition of ‘crude’ is:
3.marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity <a crude stereotype>
Here’s my offering below – I hope you like it! Please check here for the other entries!
*****
– Oversold –
“Are we absolutely certain that this is the best that they can offer? The rumours promised so much more.”
“I agree. The hype has really oversold… this…”
The two experts gaze at the artefacts in front of them. The archaeologist reminisces on the months of back-breaking work invested by him, not to mention his team. The artist attempts to bury the wild hopes and dreams he had harboured for aeons, all the while hearing his wife’s warning ringing in his ears: “Don’t get your hopes up, you’ll only be disappointed!”
“I tell you one thing, though,” he mutters to his colleague. “They knew how to market themselves. Talk about oversold!”
“Hmm.” The archaeologist straightens his shoulders, releasing pent up tension – a combination of the gathering excitement that had been building for what felt like a lifetime, and the remnants of months of travelling in cramped quarters. “Remember, their methods of communication were crude at best. No finesse, back then.”
“Much like their art, so it seems.”
The colleagues sigh in unison. The artist shakes his head. “We might as well go. There’s nothing for us here.”
“Yes. This place is of no use to us. Poor air, poor archaeology, poor art.”
“I’d better record the names of the pieces, for our files,” said the artist, making brief notes in his book. “I wonder who this woman was, ‘La Gioconda’?”
“No idea. Nor do I care. Her beauty is as sub-standard as their ‘art’.”
The colleagues pick up their tools, making their way back to their vehicle, now ready for launch. The return to Imakon Zandar II was going to be long and despondent. Planet Earth had been terribly, terribly disappointing.
There is a lot of sci-fi on the Internet but not all of it is good. This is very subtle and well-written sci-fi perspective!
“The rumours promised so much more.” Wonderful sentence! And of course the revisiting of Miss Mona Lisa is excellent.
Thank you, Hannah. Sometimes, less is more…!
I will certainly include this post in my three votes.
Ooh, thank you!
Great ending Freya. Beautifully unexpected. Reminds me of Arthur Porges The Ruum.
Thank you! And now I’ve found that story I can read it too 🙂
I love the ending. Not without a biting truth I fear, but all the more enjoyable for it. I take my coffee without sugar
Thank you, counting ducks.
“They knew how to market themselves.” That is the best line. I love your matter of fact tone, and the underlying humor. Very nice work!
Thank you, Steph – I’m glad you enjoyed it!
That last line was perfect! I had no idea they were from another planet. Too bad it was a wasted trip 🙂
I’m pleased you enjoyed it – and that I managed to keep the truth buried until the end 🙂
I love those moments as a reader, or a movie goer, when you are following a story and thinking it is ok and then, a moment arrives that changes everything and elevates the story to a whole new, completely awesome level. When Mona Lisa was mentioned, I instantly re-evaluated the whole story on the spot and smiled broadly! What a clever way to structure your story and what a lot of depth to your message that is buried along the way, waiting to be unearthed, discovered and swooned over! Fabulous work, Freya!
Thank you! I’m glad my twist gave you so much enjoyment 🙂
Well, at least the Mona Lisa lasted so long! (:
Indeed…!
Thank you for the links, Hannah.