Threshold – dVerse Meeting the Bar

Here’s my latest entry into the dVerse Meeting the Bar. This week, Gay is asking us to reflect on ourselves, think about how we talk, what we say, reveal a little piece of us in poetry form. I confess, I found this tough, tough, tough. This year, life in the Freya world has been turned upside down, and then all the pieces put back in some form of random order, so I’m not really sure who this ‘me’ is. I think I’m at a chrysalis stage, just deciding what butterfly I’m going to be (positive spin, do you see?).

So, I’m not sure if I fulfil the brief, but better some words than none at all. I do use the language, it sounds typically British as well, I feel (a bit stilted, somewhat diffident, perhaps)?

Do visit the other poets who take part in this wonderful community… you’re in for a treat!

*****

– Threshold –

Being at a crossroads
Or maybe halted by a sudden fork,
not sure which direction I’ll follow,
even where the turn will take me
when I blink and look again –
I’m not sure of myself
Nor do I understand which me I am.
The work me is part of it
But what is the other me like?
How do I behave?
What do I do, or say, differently
when the responsibility is
sloughed off as I walk through the front door?
Some days, I bring it home.
Not my work concerns per se
Just the demeanour.
I think it’s time for a reinvention.
Long overdue, frivolity has been a stranger at my door.
Perhaps with jollity’s return,
the prospect of a new beginning
won’t leave that taste of fear
on my tongue.
The taste that stops the words
seeping out.

35 thoughts on “Threshold – dVerse Meeting the Bar

  1. Being conscious of what words “seeping out” is nothing but positive. This, in fact, was the main message of King Salomon. His wisdom was extensive, But his main message was that the mouth is like the heart giving life to the body. A fool, of course, may also watch his mouth, wanting to please. But when seeing the mouth as the heart we will not be shameless. And by that we develop grace.

    I wonder what Freya stood for. I should know, being a Norwegian, but I don’t. I believe I will look it up. Anyhow, the conflict between the different “me’s” you describe I believe is universal. And a social problem.

  2. I do think sometime that the new year IS a good opportunity to think of re-invention. I think we all go through periods of questioning, and I sense that you are ready for some kind of fresh start. I wish you a successful new beginning.

  3. i think we have those crossroads in our life where we can stop and make decisions that will radically change our lives…i think we can make those kind of decisions any time we need to…re-invention is not a bad thing at all…course corrections either when we feel we have gotten away from who we really are…

  4. Crossroads, from the bible, from history, from Robert Johnson doing his blues version of Daniel Webster, from Robert Frost, from each of our life’s journeys–confused now because directions are Googled on Mapquest; & we are instructed where to turn; enjoyed your treatise, your poem of introspection.

    1. Thank you, Glenn. I’m too much used to feeling that I am in charge, and this year has not been at all like that… It’s made me revisit what ‘control’ really is, if it is indeed, real at all….

  5. ..the fear that stops the words that stops the action of doing something about it..very familiar…it all begins with identifying the problem…you will turn it around I’m sure 😉

  6. In sport, art, music, & life, transitions are the hardest part. It’s where everything happens. Lately I’ve been trying to conquer a scale in E flat that runs in and out of black and white keys to be played prestissimo. Wrapping my 4th finger around my thumb has stopped me everyday until today. I think that’s where you are between the first and fourth – waiting for life to smooth out, waiting for the music to flow, waiting to stop thinking the music and just let it be. Your poem does it with ease. I reckon if you let your life flow like your poetry you’ll be in a whole new place before you know it. Good luck!

    1. Thank you so much, Gay. You described my predicament so well, and so vividly. I have been doing so much thinking – too much, I am sure, in the dead of night, early in the morning – that my head is fit to burst. Letting ‘it’ flow is how I want to be, for sure. Thank you for the encouragement – and good luck with the scale!

  7. This is well done Freya, I like the notion of crossroads, we all come to them from time to time, I’m at one now. It is difficult some days to not bring your mood home from work, but I try not to, work is work and home is home. Lovely poem.

    1. Thank you. Yes, we all do hit those junctions in life, as you say. A step change from what we are used to, even if that scenario isn’t really good for us, is tough, because the familiar feels better than the new, at first at least. Good luck with your crossroads!

  8. i like the thoughtful nature of this… the questions you ask… i think there are points in life when we do have to ask these questions…re-think things… re-kindle buried things maybe…

  9. Makes one ask the question: “Do we truly have ‘free will’?”
    I don’t quite believe we do, even though we think so.
    I can so identify with your being puzzled as well as anxious about the next step. Can we afford to sit back and wait? Are we programmed to lean forward and stick our oar in, taking things in hand? Wish I knew. Maybe at a certain stage in life wait & see is the most tempting option. But then: I am basically lazy.
    My thoughts are with you. Thank your for your poetry: I have been uplifted many a read of them.

    1. Thank you so much, Aprille.

      Like you, I sometimes think wait and see is the best option, rather than forcing the situation. However, I feel as if I’ve been waiting for a bit too long, been a hostage to fortune and need to do something… The time feels right, somehow.

  10. It is difficult to harmonise our work and home life if we are unhappy in one of them – one an escape from the other -although as you say, sometimes we bring ‘work’ home with us.

    I am sad that you feel (invisibly) gagged and do so hope your words seep out soon and happiness returns. I am sure you will re-evolve into the finest butterfly.

    Kind regards.
    Anna :o]

    1. Thank you, Anna.

      I suppose that for me, the past couple of years have been the toughest of my life so far, the worst being losing my dad so suddenly in the summer. Since then, life has changed beyond all recognition and so I do feel at a bit of a loss. Some days, it’s exhilarating, other days I feel crushed by the weight of it all. It will all be OK, I know, it’s just the transition that is hard – like breaking free of the chrysalis!

  11. Oh I can see that expressing this was hard.. still it when it is the hardest you really bring home a wonderful piece of poetry.. the choice of path, where we walk is the most important. I think I have been at a crossroad a long time myself, and the realization that one might have missed that road is terrifying.. but once the trees clear you will find your path through the yellow woods..

    1. Thank you so much, Bjorn – I really appreciate your lovely comments. It’s funny how we tend to assume that most people we meet are sailing along quite happily in their lives, when really, much of the time, we are all facing similar struggles and uncertainties. I wish you well with your crossroad moments and finding the path you need.

    1. Young – I wish! I suppose though, in a way I am, as I feel as if I am restarting my adult life again – a second chance, if you will. Thank you for your wise words. I know you are right. This week (this time of year) is proving to be a bit tough, that’s all.

  12. I enjoyed this poem but refrain from giving advice about taking the crossroad. My life is a zig zag maze of following paths but one has to be a certain type of personality to embark on this way of life ( a heightened sense of the ridiculous helps) It is not for everyone ( hardly anyone in fact!)

    1. I think we all take our own roads – sometimes, for the better, sometimes for the worst, but I suppose they are right at the time. A zigzag does sound intriguing – although I had a taste of that a little last year… the jury is still out!

  13. I’m trying the frivolity approach too. Personally finding it dull, but my friends are enjoying me telling them about it, so I’m having fun with that.

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