You speak like the words are tripping over your tongue, boy, like your brain’s runnin’ too fast to share all your street joy, your mental agility, your linguistic ability- – – – – it silences me. I cannot compete, you’ve been doin’ it for years, listenin’ to those MCs, they’re controllin’ like masters, freestylin’ with fluidity, there ain’t no rigidity, shoutin’ over ghetto blasters – – – – – you’re a tough act to come after. So I ain’t rhymin’, or reasonin’, or trying to emulate, you win hands down, boy. I dig it.
Watching drum and bass MCs spit words like broken teeth sends me crazy.
Bassline
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This week, on dVerse Meeting the Bar, Bjorn is our benevolent bartender and he has cordially invited us to indulge in haibun (prose, followed by haiku), but he also invites us to test and distort the tradition. I think that I have broken all the rules, apart from using 17 syllables in the closing line, which is in the style of an American Sentence – because I love, love, love Allen Ginsberg, I couldn’t resist. And, because I spent some time last night watching a drum & bass DJ and MC on an internet radio station, I threw rhyme and rhythm into my (not quite) prose section.
Poetry is all about breaking the rules, right? I hope you enjoy it 🙂
Please pop over to dVerse to see how others have risen to this challenge.
Freya Writes... 
I dig it a lot.. now we get into Basho Ginsberg and Tupac joining up doing poetry.. great one.. yes innovate renew.. but with a foot in the tradition.. I love it.
I’m so pleased! It was a great challenge 🙂
It was brave to use beat prose for the first part of your haibun. You did well. Sometimes rules have to be broken indeed.
I don’t know about being brave. Maybe I don’t respect the rules enough – I think I was just in that mood for being rebellious! 🙂
lol…there are some that are definitely skilled on the mic…
and the way they bend words freestyling…i have to admit i need a bit more structure
notes at least, otherwise i get lost in my own words….
they are amazing to watch though…
Oh yes, me too! I often have phrases going around in my head, but I have to write them down, otherwise they’re gone too soon.
Damn right, true poetry is a muckraker, not a sycophant; which complicates things for many of us trying to follow the parameters of the MTB prompts. Loved the energy, the verve in this piece; make me flash on my own offering on Tuesday, BANGING WITH THE BITCHES, & yes, howling with Ginsberg, Tupac, Snoop Dog, & running with our tongues out with the dVerse dogs.
Yes, I quite like mastering a poetry form and have enjoyed writing villanelles and sestinas, and so on, but I find the beat style utterly freeing – it really allows me to get my feelings out there with a whole load of impact. Banging With the Bitches was great, Glenn – and all the best dogs run with their tongues out… 🙂
I like the rhythm of your poem, Freya. They may be a tough act to follow, but I think you have followed well. I ‘dig it.’ Smiles!
Thank you, Mary! 🙂
it’s awesome when beat and words are just flowing and the whole person IS poetry.. i could listen to them for hours – and i wish i could spit poetry like that… great rhythm to your piece as well freya
Yes, it’s really lfe-affirming, listening to someone ‘being’ their poetry!
I love the beat and rhythm of your words ~ Complements the one sentence haiku ~ Crazy but good one ~
Thank you, Grace!
Superb rhythm to this piece, Great style.
Thank you! 🙂
Pure brilliance Freya – pure brilliance. Boy, do I dig it!
Anna :o]
Thank you, Anna!
Excellent Freya, i think you have done wonderfully well.
Thank you, Michael. 🙂
I don’t think I could do it. You’ve got a jazzy style though, Freya. Nice~
You never know! Thank you 🙂
WOW, love it! Couldn’t do it myself, not in a million years… but admire the way you did it.
Thank you! You never know, you could give it a try!
I did enjoy it… immensely. It’s all about breaking the rules.. at least the way you did.. I love it.
Thank you, Steph!
poetry is ALL about breaking rules! After all, the American Sentence is just a broken-rule haiku. Great piece!!
Indeed it is, Bryan! Thank you so much 🙂
Your originality has spark….enjoyed the flow of this
Thank you, Kathy.
Made me laugh, and cry when I think of cycling commentators, clipping their words or drawling in semi-foreign tongues. Life needs a ‘sound-off’ button too.
Indeed it is, you are right 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!
This is awesome!
Thank you!
Freya, great to see you here. I’m dipping a toe in for the first time but along very different lines that yours. I greatly enjoyed your take and it felt very real to me, a dip back into the 60’s, a time I remember. 🙂 I have a feeling that in poetry styles, rules are often made and then stretched or sometimes willfully twisted and broken, forming new shapes and styles. I doubt any haibun police will be on your tail.
janet
Thank you, Janet! Imagine – haibun police! Scary thought 🙂