Those nights when I can’t sleep
and curse – in my belief – that I
am the only one staring into the abyss
at 3am.
Those days when I can’t stop
the thoughts in my head from eating me alive
and casting a shadow over
a glorious sunshine day
at 2pm.
Those mornings when I can’t bear
to drag myself out of bed
and drag my carcass through
one more day
at 6am.
Those days
I have to stop myself
from giving up
from giving in
from turning in
from tuning out.
I have so much.
Food on the table.
Money in the bank.
A heart that beats
so strong, so long, so fiercely.
I have so much
at 3am
at 2pm
at 6am.
I have so much.
Tonight is Open Link Night here on dVerse, hosted by our stalwart Swedish host, Bjorn. He has shared the story of Sean Michael with us today, who only gets to post on OLN as he is currently in prison, has no access to the internet and can only connect with us through the wonderful assistance of his grandmother, who posts on his behalf, is his lifeline to the outside world. Here is his blog Mad Poet Enchanted – so very, very worth a look. Sean has somehow managed to fund the publishing of a book of his poetry, despite all the obstacle sin his way – he is such an inspiration.
So… my poem is somewhat of a response to his story. We’re having a bit of a heatwave here in the UK and it’s making commuting somewhat uncomfortable – it’s nothing really, and reading Sean’s story has reminded me of all that I have to be grateful for. I truly am, but sometimes, I forget…
Please do head on over to dVerse and dive in – and please do read about Sean.
By the way, I am so behind in reading others’ work – I will catch up over the weekend, that’s a promise!
Freya Writes... 
I had one of these nights just last night. thoughts spiraling, hours turning. its maddening, but mostly when I DONT get up to capture the musings as they tumble!
I mostly don’t get up to capture them either!
Brilliant write, Freya! ❤
Thank you!
You’re welcome! 🙂
I’ll be thinking of you
at 3am
at 2pm
at 6am.!
I’m with Josslyn on this one!
Thank you, Kim 😉
What a great thought… i feel that we sometimes build our own cells… and the repetition of the times is actually quite interesting… we do have this need of being in synch… but it doesn’t really work does it?
Yes, I think we do build our own cells, all too easily. Being in synch is easier said than done…
I love the contrast presented in cursing something, even though you really do believe in it. There’s such a torment in strongly feeling two opposing emotions.
Thank you! Yes, the two strong emotions pull us in opposite directions.
So much indeed! Great reminder to be thankful for that which we DO have! …and as far as being behind in reading…that is where I usually find myself…I’m surprised to be “on top of things” as much as I am right now!
I envy your current organisational prowess, Bryan!
I’m sure it won’t last.
Good luck!
We have indeed so much Freya. I think of the others in this world with no basic stuff..and we are indeed blessed.
Aren’t we just. And we forget this all too often.
I am an insomniac so I am up at 1:00 am, 2:00 am, 3:00 am….etc. usually writing not worrying. although lately it has been worrying. Thank you for the reminder of how much we do have, at all the times.
I hope your worries have left you now…
Great write and I like the message behind this piece – being thankful for what you have.
Thank you!
Such a touching response Freya ❤
Thank you!
In our household, we utter the words “thankful for every day” having had a number of very serious health scares in the past three years. Your poem is wonderful here — the ticking of the clock and the understanding of the gift of time. And the undestanding that we should appreciate the small things in life — many of which others do not have.
Thank you, Lillian. I do like that tradition you have built into your family day.
A good reminder that tI should be grateful for what I have … including a good night’s sleep
A good night’s sleep is gold, I think.
I can relate from my past nights. I was waiting for bedtime to solve problems, etc. Now I still have problems, but sleep too soundly and late. Thanks for sharing.
I hope you find your balance soon, Nan.
Your poem could be me. I have those sleepless nights and listless days when I felt that everything was just drudgery. Often I forget how easy and good my life is while there are those who are truly suffering.
I think there are more of ‘us’ than we think. It’s helpful to know we are not alone. And how easy it is to forget we have good lives… it’s good to look outwards.
True. The self is such a little and limited place to live in. 🙂
Isn’t it just…
Wow. Really good poem.
Thank you!