This weekend, the Trifecta team’s Trifextra challenge asks us to write only 33 words, including the word ‘tooth’, but excluding stories of milk-teeth tooth loss.
Here’s my offering this week. It’s weird, came out of nowhere and I’m not sure what to make of it – are you? Let me know!
And… why not visit here to read all the other brilliant offerings?! Or, take part yourself….
*****
– Reap –
I created a monster out of you.
I moulded you to my desires.
I wished. Here you are.
Like the jagged tooth of a cheap comb, you cut me.
And
Made
Me
Bleed.
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It comes out fine! I have the feeling the ‘monster’ has rebelled and now the tables have been turned. In a way it made me think of Frankenstein. But a more contemporary and more credible version.
There also seems to be a feeling of sadness and regret, of things that might have been different – if only. And not only because ‘you’ bleed.
Yes, it is a bit Frankenstein’s monster isn’t it?! I love that novel, it’s so very sad. Sadness, regret.. Yes, I can see that too, I truly didn’t think this through beforehand – it just arrived.
Hmm… well that is quite ingenious.
Thank you!
I want to punch him for you.
every word was good, right, well placed and packed the punch so that by the time you get to “made me bleed” your own skin is red and on fire with hurt.
WOW.
Thank you so much, Kir! I especially like the WOW 🙂
Love, love, love it! The imagery is fantastic.
Thank you! I’m pleased you enjoyed it so much 🙂
Hi Freya, I read this an thought of childbirth. Pain, discomfort, blood each mixed with love.
Now that’s such an interesting -not to mention unexpected – reaction! Yes, I see what you mean. I had to go back and re-read my offering to see how you came to that conclusion! Well done on making me revisit my thoughts! 🙂
It’s the great miracle of language that others see in our words ideas we haven’t considered. I have to do the same thing sometimes when I read the comments of others. Exciting eh?
It is indeed! And I’m sure that it helps us each develop as both writers, and readers. Your thoughts and comments are, as always, very much appreciated! 🙂
My initial reaction was much like Gabriella’s (the monster turning on the creator.) But I thought Summerstommy’s interpretation was fascinating and fits as well.
Yes, his interpretation works really well! Thank you for visiting… 🙂
Ooh! I like this lots. It leaves so much to interpretation. I see it as someone who convinced her lover to change to suit her, and then–once he was desirable–he dumped her.
Nice job.
Another great interpretation – thank you! I’m pleased you enjoyed reading it 🙂
I like the use of the prompt here. That middle sentence says it all. :))
Thank you, Jo-Anne!
This is a great use of the prompt word.
Thank you, Draug!
As said above… a great many interpretations. create great involvement from the reader… I read it as a poor woman’s blaming herself from an abusive man…
Ah, another perspective! How interesting that you saw it that way. It’s true that victims of domestic violence often do blame themselves… A very sad state of affairs.
Ah from our desires we can create the monsters in our lives. Great description of the prompt
Indeed we can – be careful what we wish for! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
*Great* opening line – it really sets a dark, intense tone.
Thank you, Christine.
I think this is payback time. The perfect lover has snapped.
Yes… Perhaps she has had enough… Thank you for reading and commenting!