Who am I asking at the top of the tree
Self-affirmation does nothing for me
I can’t trust my instincts, they’re hay-wired and shot
The message is scrambled, my brain’s lost the plot
I’m down on the floor, scraping in dirt
A nod of acceptance won’t really hurt
You in your turret, with glories to share
Tell me, a poor wretch, that you do really care
For it is cold down below in the shade of your heart
I live for attention, I am broken apart
When you look to the beauty of others in sight
Ignoring my mewling, I cower with fright
That I have lost you forever, I am lost in the dark
The future is bleak, empty and stark
I must go on without you, craft self-belief
Strength, hope and glory must rise from this grief.
65 thoughts on “Phoenix”
That first stanza really pulled me in.. and thank you for the afterword that this is at least partly fiction.
Thank you, Bjorn.
nice character sketch…allowing us to see them…and the situation they are in…the feeling of living in the shadow and seeking the affirmation of others, all too real you know…happy new year….smiles.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Brian. Yes, I’ve had moments like this… Happy New Year to you too!
Sounds like you may have a great novel in the works! I, too, am glad for the return of dVerse! 🙂
Thank you, Bryan!
This poem is deep and beautifully written.
I am back! and I just posted a new poem check it out…:)
Thank you, Charlie. I’ll be popping in to your blog soon!
You’re welcome. 🙂
I think in apocalyptic times, we can slice to the core of the characters. Glad you aren’t in despair.
Yes, I think you’re right. No, no despair here, thankfully!
Strength, hope and glory must rise from this grief… oh i hope they do… it’s tough to be in that spot and you did well with slipping in someone else’s shoes
Thank you, Claudia. Fingers crossed for my heroine!
If time does not truly heal all wounds, it does, at least, salve them. The poem is strong, vibrant, & your after words do a lot for adding more clarity to a second reading. Thanks.
Thank you very much, Glenn.
The sense of self-empowerment in this poem is so satisfying!
Like to see what comes of this.
Thank you, Latonya!
Rising from the ashes.. well written. I have empathy for her. Nice work.
Thank you, Steph.
Nicely done – the phoenix crafted perfectly with the precursor of fear of the top, the question, the cowering, and then only to stand in strength of character re-born! Nice!
Thank you! Sometimes, I think how I write is more instinctive, since when I drafted this, I hadn’t realised that she had gone through a circle of rebirth… a happy accident!
Excellent poem Freya, I love the idea of the phoenix, I have used that image myself as i think it carries a great passion and suggestion of hope.
Thank you, Michael. It certainly does. Often, I write the piece and then think of the title afterwards. I wonder if this is common to others? How about you?
I think I agree with you Freya. I often think of the title when i come time to post as then I have to think of a name for it, though I have solved that issue by numbering my poems. Thanks for the comment.
Yes, I had noticed your clever numbering approach! I do enjoy having the word or phrase pop into my head before I post – I try not to go for the obvious, but there has to be a link between the name and the sentiment, even if it’s only clear to me what that link might be!
I enjoyed the poem and the title caught my attention..I can feel the pain so I would say you have success.
Thank you, Truedessa.
Happy to hear you are not brokenhearted, but the poem is written as if by someone who knows the feeling.
Well, like most of us human beings, love, loss, conflict and pain have been part of my life. I’m glad to be able to put it to use, in a positive way, and create something else – out of the ashes! Thank you, Ronald.
I was happy to hear that you were not the subject of your poem. I really liked the rhythm in addition to the rhyming, that’s not always easy to do! 🙂
Thank you, Katie! Yes, it is quite challenging, without it becoming a bit doggerel-esque!
Great title and poetry! Oh, such groveling for approval…we can be simply pathetic but glad your character rises above this 🙂
Thank you, Lynn.
in grieving a parting…self affirmation does little…it is time that heals..this is the real Phoenix…bkm
Yes, time is definitely necessary. Trying to talk yourself into a good place too soon can just make you feel worse.
Your dedication to your characters is inspiring to me. I’ve dabbled in fiction but it’s definitely harder than it seems. I commend you.
Thank you so much, Alex. Yes, it is hard – I’ve started and not finished so many things longer than a short story – but they are not wasted. It’s all part of the learning experience – and I have re-hashed old efforts to become something new (if a great deal shorter!).
Very cool! You’ve managed to depict feelings that seem real despite the rhyming patter of poem. This is not just a story, it is a plea.
Thank you, Susan. I’m pleased the rhyme didn’t interfere too much!
imagine writing about your characters requires you to try out different perspectives ..as if you were that person..how would it come across to the reader..hard work..good luck with it
this is very good….
Thank you! It’s a way of me immersing myself in them – I suppose it helps cement them in my mind.
Interesting! Do you plan to use the poem in your novel or was it a way of getting under the emotional skin of the character? I think much of our writing is a complex mix of fact & fiction.. all changes when you put pen to paper!
Hi Becky – thank you so much. No, I’m not planning (at the moment) to use this poem in the novel itself – it was just as you say, to get under the emotional skin of the character. Yes, much of our creativity is informed by our own personal experience – and I do enjoy allowing myself artistic licence!
The meter and rhyme in this is genius. Loved it.
Thank you so much, Misky.
Pathetic indeed but nonetheless beautiful words that evoke all the pain and bewilderment we feel when we are lost to those we love.
Thank you, Emily.
Love the fact that strength hope and glory can come from grief.
Good! If horrible things happen to us, we need to be able to extract the positives where we can, don’t you think?
This is wonderfully written. Very intense emotions… I like the idea of using one of my characters as the inspiration for one of my poems.
Thank you so much. Yes, do try this approach – I feel that I use different parts of my writing brain to craft poetry compared to prose – I like to think that it helps the creative process… 🙂
This is very strong – glad it isn’t your story.
Thank you – and yes, so am I!
Yes, the first stanza grabbed me and I liked the rhythm. Nice write.
Thank you, Sabra – and for your visit to my humble abode… 🙂
I am glad you are not in this situation Freya..and they will be born out of the ashes of fire.
I love the word Phoenix and you have an appropriate title for this piece. We reach ever inward to grasp our souls to know the essence of who we are and what we feel. I’m sorry I’m on my soap -box so leaving now 🙂
Oh, no need to apologise at all, I do enjoy seeing how different people respond to my writing. Yes, I do agree – inward exploration is invaluable – and we should do more of it!
Well.. i have to say i am glad that does not reflect YOUR life..as it sure sounds like the experience of someone suffering from Border Line Personality Disorder…
That numbness..that only came to me as a result of an extreme physically disabling pain disorder..is something i understand now..
i could never understand why people cut themselves..
Until i too..became numb with no emotions 2..
It is the worst thing in the dam word..to me..for what i experienced…
Even worst than the worst documented pain known to mankind…
I’ve got lots of empathy AND compassion for those folks..
Some people simply do not understand the pain…
Of feeling NOTHING AT ALL..
Anyway..thank you for inspiring empathy and compassion for me.. friend..
As i too ..am once again..fully human again…. a loving.. empathic… compassionate human again…
In fact.. YES!.. that iS what not feeling emotion is like..
Death..and not even being human.
i think..i feel
And happy New YEAr2ya2!
Thank you, Katie. It sounds to me as if you have had a tough time (probably an understatement) over the years. But I am very glad that you have regained your loving, empathetic, compassionate humanity once more – feeling numb, lost, empty – is awful. I’ve had my moments – it’s such a relief not to be THAT again….
Happy New Year, indeed!
Very visual. Well done! “Phoenix Rising”. Moving forward from the bottom, there is no where to go, but up.
Yes, you just keep having to look up to the stars.