basking
raising my face to the sun
closing eyes to recede
and join the world
one and the same
ears buffeted by a breeze
a low note faceted with the subtle chill of autumn
whilst the high, bright notes are playful
bringing the bleat of ewes and adolescent lambs
the metallic clunk of farm machinery
tractors are tested, dismantled and put to bed
until the fecund seasons start once more
silence and boil
whisper and yell
contrast me
still —
silent with all that surrounds
the quietude is a fallacy
or perhaps not
perhaps striving for silence is something we created
to battle against the noise of our minds
the clamour of our industry
the demands of our modernity
the delusion of an easier life
machines doing our work
illusory
and yet —
how have we filled those dreamed-of empty hours?
our cups overflow
too much data
haptics vibrating
upticks in our constant chase
rat-defined race
the creeping animals are left breathless in our verminous wake
there is no silence
all those people underground tapping the underside
reflection of what we desired
or what nightmarish imaginings we strove to evade
they come to haunt
those things we spent our time aiming to miss
We are no better than those who came before
before
... before
and before
we merely found new ways to become the animals that we truly are
cannibals
destroyers of futures
creators of destruction
So I stand
I listen
I, regret
I... stand
I
listen
yet
Over at dVerse, Grace is inviting us to write a descort, which is a poem of deliberate difference rather than having a defined form like, say, a villanelle. She suggest that we might experiment with:
*varying line lengths
*changing rhythms or meters
*inconsistent rhyme schemes
*different stanza shapes
*shifts in voice or perspective
*fragments alongside complete sentences
*the use of another language or dialect
*unusual visual arrangements on the page
We don’t need to use all of these techniques, but keep in the mind the key principle: Let the discord mean something.
This was quite the challenge, but a lot of fun. If you want to give it a try, head on over to dVerse (linked above), read Grace’s helpful guide and join us!
I love that with the chill of autumn, there is contrast with the sounds of the machinery with the silence perhaps in our minds. You painted the painful reality of living with constant stream of data and noise, with the emptiness of our hours. Such is the hapless state of our “discord” life and we are no better than those who came before us. This is such a strong rebuke to us (but I am hopeful) with these lines:
we merely found new ways to become the animals that we truly are
cannibals
destroyers of futures
creators of destruction
Thank you, Grace. Our discord is truly complex and discordant. I am hopeful too – but then tempered by all the lessons our species has failed to learn. It’s a true balancing act!
“So I stand
I listen
I, regret
I… stand
I
listen
yet”
Your poem demands the reader listen, take it all in AND this reader certainly did.
Thank you, Helen.
silence and boil
whisper and yell
contrast me
still —
silent with all that surrounds
the quietude is a fallacy
Love these lines Freya! You presented beautifully what are expected of this form!
Hank
Thank you so much 🙂
Very nice intrepretion of this prompt! Nicely done! 🫶
Thank you!
Love how you go out against modernity with the full realization how much we still need and depend on it… the form worked so well in your hands.
Thank you, Björn. I enjoyed the form, although it was a challenge!
Great use of varying line lengths, repetition and contrast in your descort, Freya! I especially love the sounds in these lines:
‘a low note faceted with the subtle chill of autumn
whilst the high, bright notes are playful
bringing the bleat of ewes and adolescent lambs
the metallic clunk of farm machinery’
and the ‘brain noise’ in:
‘too much data
haptics vibrating
upticks in our constant chase’.
Indeed, there is no silence.
Thank you! Some of this represents slices from my own life.
My pleasure, Freya.
Freya, your descort is poignantly disturbing with the futility of humanity’s noisy, animal-like existence.
Thank you, Lynn. It seems that we aren’t becoming any better behaved…
A unsettling descort that leaves the reader with a desire to find calm and silence. Well done
Thank you so much!
I really enjoyed all the introspection in this, Freya, and that lovely image at the end that sort of hints at the Plato’s Cave allegory, seeing the shadows but not seeing the truth.
Seems like every time I settle into the silence to write, someone revs a chainsaw. The phrase “our verminous wake” made me chuckle. And I really liked, “those things we spent our time aiming to miss.” Thanks for taking me on this poetic journey.
A clever and fierce exploration of place – inside, outside, now and then – beautifully written – Jae
Well done!