Once in a lifetime I hover
at the threshold, made ice
with fear, thawed by hope
yet brittle with acceptance
for this is no rehearsal; no
amount of practising the
u
n
f
u
r
l
i
n
g
of your life
can prepare me for your journey
and this will not be
the last time, for you are the first
the most important, paving the way
and perhaps, because of that
I fancy this gives you solace
together with the drama
that your departure creates;
a fanfare marking your final parade
you are not keen on acceptances
nor being the quiet man
preferring to make waves, no, bloody storms!
your greatest fear is
being left behind, so you leave first
slamming the door shut
to make your point
hope is a barbed crown of roses
scratching your scalp red-raw, blood
and perylene petals not merging, but fighting
like the tigers in your soul; I never know which one will win
fearing one, hoping for the other
understanding
finally, that I have no say
as for the ice?
you prefer it
- - floating - -
in your martini (dirty)
two olives, pierced
and even still you raise your glass chin chin
and I ciao ciao
you, always present, never past tense
au revoir, Dad
this is not goodbye.
Over at dVerse Poets Pub, it’s time to dive into a bit of Poetics with our friendly host, Kim. This week she has asked us to be inspired by the glorious poem ‘The Window’ by Mary Jean Chan, which you can read here. Her poem won second prize in the 2017 National Poetry Competition.
Kim has asked us re-read and explore Chan’s poem, particularly the use of line breaks and caesura to build rhythm and evoke emotion, and the three-word movement: “anger is like the sun, which is like love” and then write a poem that begins with ‘Once in a lifetime’, just like Mary Jean Chan’s.
Writing this was certainly enjoyable but quite a challenge to begin with, and then I got into a rhythm, losing myself in the process. Even though it’s thirteen years since my dad died, he’s still inspiring me. His death certainly wasn’t goodbye!
If you’d like to join us, head over to dVerse, follow the guidelines and most of all, have fun!
(Image by https://www.pexels.com/@amine-kubranur-cakiroglu-689611212/ on Pexels).
Awww… Salute!
Thank you!
That is a stunning dirty Martini of a poem, Freya! I’m so pleased you enjoyed the challenge and shared this tribute to your dad. I’m the same, fifteen years, and my dad still inspires me. I love your three-word movements (two for one, no less): ice/thawed/brittle and drama/fanfare/parade, as well as the shape of your poem. I especially love the lines:
‘you are not keen on acceptances
nor being the quiet man
preferring to make waves, no, bloody storms!’
(Another three-word movement: quiet/waves/storms!)
Thank you so much, Kim! I’m sorry you lost your dad too, but so pleased that he continues to inspire you too. It’s funny, but I wasn’t aware that I’d managed to include a second three word movement until after re-reading the whole poem for a second time!
My pleasure, Freya!
Amazing and beautiful! I am very happy your Dad made and has such an impression on you…a dirty martini….perfect…seriously good work here love, love, loved it, Freya!! 🩵
Thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoyed it and much as I enjoyed writing it 🙂
I am impressed by your poem. You state you write about your dad, and I see Jesus Christ. If there was a wall of notice on internet, I would wish this poem hung there.
Thank you very much. That’s an interesting interpretation!
Oh! Such an amazing tribute to your father, Freya. I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot lately. He was also a man who made an impression.
Love the dirty martini reference. 💙
Thank you, Merril. Our fathers never leave us, do they? Enjoy your literary martini!
You’re welcome, Freya!
Oh, when reading this I think I recall poetry about your father before, this was really good, and love how you characterize him more by his actions than anything else… love the way connect it with “au revoir”
Yes, I’m still writing about him… I’m so pleased you enjoyed this poem – and he was a man of action 🙂
This whole stanza was incredible:
“hope is a barbed crown of roses
scratching your scalp red-raw, blood
and perylene petals not merging, but fighting
like the tigers in your soul; I never know which one will win
fearing one, hoping for the other
understanding
finally, that I have no say”
Thank you so much! I very much enjoyed writing it.
Great poem Freya 👏 and while I was stuck for something to write about you’ve given me the inspiration I needed to get going. Thanks 🙏
Thank you, Shaun. I’m honoured that you have been inspired 🙂
“your greatest fear is
being left behind, so you leave first
slamming the door shut”
and yet still present in presence throughout this wonderful read of a tributary poem to him. Chin chin!
Thank you, Laura! Yes, still present!
“you are not keen on acceptances…
……….
….slamming the door shut
to make your point”
Loved this part most…it’s like picturing a person….so clear…great way to share your love for your father!
Thank you so much, Sreeja. I enjoyed writing it and I think he might have enjoyed reading it too 🙂