I stand and stare at you in the moments after you stop living; there are no more words to say to you, under my breath. I can no longer pretend or hope or believe or pray that you can hear me, that you can smile somewhere deep inside at the sound of my voice, and be glad that I’m with you at the end. I resent you for it; for not saying goodbye, for cutting free so unilaterally.
*****
So, for me, an unsurprising choice this week, when we are invited to write about the difficult or spicy subjects that we tend to swerve, given half the chance. Death yet again is my theme. The death of my dad. Today in particular has been pretty bad. There’s no rhyme, no reason for it. That’s grief, I guess. Tomorrow will be different, I know.
You can read and discover many more slices of life right here.
mm nice capture of the mixed feelings of someone passing…the anger at being left. at the peace they found…and all the hope we had…a familiar feeling in this….
You show so clearly the ups and downs of a relationship in life and the emotions that are let loose in death. I think most of us can identify with this. Those we love most, hurt us the most. This is so well expressed. Thank you.
Thank you, Gay. I somehow manage to write far more articulately than what actually goes on inside my head at the moment, which I think is a relief for all concerned!
Oh, I know that. Like me, he was always one for being in control. Death is the ultimate in not having that, in the end, both for the leaver and the left behind.
Thank you. I think it’s fair to say that I’m going through the roughest patch at the moment. I’m glad I have the ability to eject some of it out of my head and onto ‘paper’.
We keep what we think society would deem unacceptable, hidden. Many people say that it’s natural to feel anger, but they don’t want to be there for the fallout.
Thank you. Liking something quietly sounds so meaningful. It’s ironic that we will all experience loss of those we love and who we are close to, and yet we are still so poorly prepared for its impact. I am sorry for your close links to these emotions.
Freya Writes... 
Freya – the emotions in this piece are so raw and blunt…and that, I think, is what made this poem so powerful.
Thank you Bryan. Catharsis. And admitting to emotions that people only whisper about, mainly to themselves, I think.
mm nice capture of the mixed feelings of someone passing…the anger at being left. at the peace they found…and all the hope we had…a familiar feeling in this….
It’s something we all experience, one way or the other. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Such raw emotion I can feel… great writing. Bless you.
Thank you, Laurie. Raw – yes indeed. This too, will pass…
This broke my heart in two for I’ve been there.
I’m sorry for your experience and loss. Thank you for reading it, in any case. xx
You show so clearly the ups and downs of a relationship in life and the emotions that are let loose in death. I think most of us can identify with this. Those we love most, hurt us the most. This is so well expressed. Thank you.
Thank you, Victoria. And yet we risk the pain, and love in spite and because of it. A miracle, don’t you think?
Wow, love the mixed-uppedness of grief, Freya!
‘Mixed-uppedness’ is exactly what it is. That’s a great phrase! Thank you, Marya.
Contrasts of emotions – clearly articulating the stages of grief. Wishing you well and approaching “lightness” of being.
Thank you, Gay. I somehow manage to write far more articulately than what actually goes on inside my head at the moment, which I think is a relief for all concerned!
He actually never meant to go without the good bye, its just death doesn’t permit it!
Oh, I know that. Like me, he was always one for being in control. Death is the ultimate in not having that, in the end, both for the leaver and the left behind.
What a raw and moving write.
Thank you, Lisa.
Freya – my heart hurts for your grief, and this is such a powerful poem. It hit me straight on and is still echoing in my mind.
Thank you. I think it’s fair to say that I’m going through the roughest patch at the moment. I’m glad I have the ability to eject some of it out of my head and onto ‘paper’.
This is so true to the reality of death of loss… and particularly the anger which is so brave to express.
We keep what we think society would deem unacceptable, hidden. Many people say that it’s natural to feel anger, but they don’t want to be there for the fallout.
can feel the emotions in this ..
loved – smile somewhere deep inside –
Thank you.
the emotions of loss i know well and this i quietly like
Thank you. Liking something quietly sounds so meaningful. It’s ironic that we will all experience loss of those we love and who we are close to, and yet we are still so poorly prepared for its impact. I am sorry for your close links to these emotions.
There are many stages of grief…and one just has to go through them as they happen. Your poem was a poignant write.
Yes, I am learning this, bit by bit. It’s a tough lesson, but all part of life. Thank you, Mary.